Top 10 Ways to REALLY Piss Off Google

by AAAA Deleted Authors April 21st, 2011 

angry

Google are generally a great bunch! They do everything to ensure that the thing you are searching for is found instantly and includes at least some of the best websites for that term. Google are the online police…and without them, the internet would be anarchy. God bless them, right?

Search engine optimization means you want to make your website more visible to Google by gaining links while it is then in the hands of the internet community to decide your fate. However, there are (very bad, non-SEO) tactics that can really cause the faces of people at Google HQ to go all red, veiny, and consumed with rage – causing your website to slide dangerously down the search engines.

1. Paying for/selling links. Kinda like paying for sex. Buying links is wrong, very dodgy, lazy, and the consequences of being found out can be disastrous.

2. Keyword stuffingKeyword stuffing basically means cramming keywords in the meta tags or the main content on the web pages. It is important to get keywords into the content, but it obviously needs to be free-flowing and natural-looking. Sometimes inserted text includes words that are frequently searched even if the words have very little to do with the actual content of the page, just in order to attract search traffic to pages featuring adverts.

3. Content farms " Many freelancers churning out large amounts of content to increase page views to influence Google's ranking has recently been clamped down upon by Google by them adjusting their search algorithms to benefit high quality with original content rather than poor quality output.

4. Link exchanges – It looks unnatural (like Charlie Sheen buying bottles of water and salad in bulk), contrived, and Google will pick up on it. Therefore you need to use clever methods to get people to link to your website that wont require a link in return. Competitions are among the most effective method for this.

5. Comment spam " Commenting on every blog/forum in the World. Commenting on blogs etc can be a quick way to get traffic " but you need to make sure that when you do get lazy and require instant traffic, then ensure that whatever you are posting is in keeping with the theme of the previous content and sticks to your target audience.

6. Article spinning " a semi-automated article rewriting "strategy" in which  articles, original content or content from other sites, are reworded to give the impression of unique content. You couldn't get away with it in school " and it is the same in SEO. Effort needs to be put into article writing to make your work interesting and original.

7. Crappy linking – Never link out to rubbish or spammy websites. If you wear nice suits and hang around with well dressed and classy people in everyday life, then you get treated with respect within society. Google operates in much the same way " giving more respect to websites with good online friends/links. A mixture of sites is good, but avoiding spammy sites is essential.

8. Cloaking " For example, a music website could buy the domain name "albumreviews.com", then you stuff that home page full of keywords, to perform well in the search engines, then you redirect that page to the music website.

9. No text — Using lots of Flash or Javascript only? You utter mug! This is SERP suicide (actually that is quite a good term I just coined)  as Google loves good old-fashioned text and Google struggles to index Flashs weird methods. Why make life difficult? This won't tick Google off, but will definitely lead to Google turning their noses up at you and perhaps labeling you as mentally defective online amateurs. Who knows

10.

Can you think of something else that really messes up your chances for a successful relationship with Google?

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8 Responses to “Top 10 Ways to REALLY Piss Off Google”

  1. Jim Rudnick says:

    LOL! great list here Andrew….bout the only one I can add to your #10 spot would be stuffing hundreds of keywords into the redundant META keyword tag….might not get google angry but would maybe assign a "BOZO" flag to your own google webmaster account….

    LOL! great great start to the long weekend, lad!

    :-)

    Jim

  2. Thanks, this was actually very helpful to figure out what to do in reverse! Akismet has been flagging some comments as spam that don't look so bad to me, but perhaps Akismet knows that these comments violate your Rule 7.

    Now if I could only convince Google that emails to my inbox from my blog weren't spam!

  3. Kristi Hines says:

    #10 – write an article bad mouthing Google. From what I hear, it occasionally works at getting your site mysteriously dropped in search rankings. :)

  4. Wait a second here. Buying links is bad for who? The purchaser, or the seller? I don't mean in bulk or en masse either, I mean one here or there.

    I offer up a space on my site for those that wish to advertise their site on my site…I see nothing wrong with that, in fact it's allowed me to remove all advertising from my site (aside from the links, of course).

    I don't allow others to influence my decisions as to whether buying sex is wrong or not. I have my own opinions about that, but would I impose my own morals upon another, never. If it works for two consenting adults, why should I care? Doesn't impact me in the slightest way if Joe and Sally go at it under assumed contract.

    Same with links, no? Links are a type of currency that a value can be placed upon. So what does every good entrepreneur or capitalist do when they have something of value? ;)

    I'd say it's "the American way", as it were.

  5. Matt Kayne says:

    10. Hiding content behind flash or hidden text on web pages.

  6. I had a client who had been updating their website for nearly a year. They had added over a 100 pages of content or new web pages to get their website to enrich their website and get found better on Google. They called us wanting to know why Google is only seeing 30 of their web pages instead of 131 pages .

    Our analysis revealed that a character they were entering in the description meta tag for every new page was being interpreted as a code snippet and blocked all these new pages from being seen in Google. As a result of this error they lost nearly a year of Google crawl time for all these new pages.

    So to say what you 'type' and what you 'see' displayed in a web browser can look fine, even though there might be major problems in the HTML code.

    It does not matter if you are using a CMS, Content Management System or a fancy website editor because only a coding professional knows if the code, characters are technically correct so they do not cause your website any harm or difficulty over search engines. Definitely a relationship loss!

  7. 301 redirects that point in a never-ending loop.
    Marking error pages with HTTP status 200.
    Poor site performance.
    Massive duplicate content.

  8. Rhadoo says:

    10. Promoting affiliate products
    Unfortunately Google hates affiliate marketing, and I don't think that's fair since there are many good products out there.