What a good sport this year’s contest winner is! Not only was she talented enough to submit a winning entry to our SEO Lyrics Contest (and take home the $1000 U.S. I might add), but now with the aid of a few co-workers, she’s also captured their rendition of the winning entry “I’ll Optimize” on video.
So much talent!
Thanks again Katrina!
Thank you to all who participated in the SEO Lyrics Contest. The winner is K Boydon’s “I’ll Optimize”, a parody of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”. In the end, it was very close, but this song scored the highest using our algorithm. So, CONGRATS to K Boydon!
We’ll send K Boydon out her winnings today, and hopefully s/he’ll grant us an interview, and perhaps tell us a little about him/herself.
Thank you to all who participated, and please keep a close eye out for other contests we run. We’re planning to run another contest once summer ends.
Jeff Quipp and the entire SEP Team
Well, the contest has drawn to an end, and what a successful contest it has been. I’d like to thank everyone who participated, both those who took the time to submit lyrics, or those who participated by voting. All in all, there are some incredibly talented people out there! Who knows, perhaps we’ll make this an annual event???
Over the coming week, scores will be tabulated. The winner will be announced on Jim Hedger’s “The Alternative” show on webmasterradio.fm Thursday July 12th at 5:00. So tune in next Thursday to hear the name of the winner announced live.
Also, stay tuned as we announce another fun and exciting contest in the coming weeks!
Thank you again,
Jeff Quipp and the entire SEP Team
Here is the Shoemoney rap, sung to the tune of Dopeman from NWA:
You know my name is shoemoney and i’m the dope man
gettin’ paid top dollar through affiliate programs
If you need some hip music to pimp your cellphone
Call on the man who’ the king of ringtones
Rappin’ on an online radio show
Talkin’ bout the web and dissin’ SEO’s
Don’t hate on me thinkin’ i’m so bad
I got a check for 500G from Azoogleads
A master at creatin’ controversy
Kicks back to chill and watch the UFC
Creating high conversions that I share with you
Rollin’ through the heartland in a Hummer H2
Keyword to your mother
From the Naked SEO.
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
(Get Ready)
His name is Mmmmmmmmm….Matt Cutts
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
And this is for the newbee’s that don’t have any rankings
The Matt cutts fans and the wanna be randfish’s
The google freaks, sites packed with keywords
The G’s with the white hats and them dude’s with black ones
The pay-per-click ads if you can afford em
And it don’t even matter if the links are purchased
All the analytics, the clicks, the hits
And all my heros in the SEO clicks’
All you bloggers rank the best
For the laptop jockeys and the cluttered desks
For the sites at first and the ones not yet
Hard days and nights filled with stress
For the freelancers in your neighborhood
And for my SEO’s ranking sites like they should
I said it’s all good and it’s all in fun
Now get some hits and try to link someone
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
For the google bombs ticking and the heads that hang
SEO gangs getting money and the heads that bang bang
White papers and tutorial flicks
All my homies in the country with PR six
The geeks with glasses and noses in books
And for me and the bloggers in the seo nook
You can look for rankings but that ain’t fun
Now get some hits and try to link someone
What
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Blogwitdablog da link a site gigitty gigitty said the guru said up jump the google
Why won’t you crawl into my site like open doors?
Needing you to dip into my tags where you’ve become so scarce.
Without a hit,
My website’s slipping in the ranks,
Until you fin’lly index me and lead it back
Home.
(move me up)
Move me up on top.
(I can’t move up)
Rank me up on top.
(Move me)
Move me up and save me from the ban.
(move me up)
Shoot me up to 1
(I can’t move up)
Before I come undone.
(Move me)
Save my site from the nothing it’s become.
Now that I know I’m moving up,
You can’t just leave me.
Index once more and make me real.
Bring
me
to
1.
(move me up)
Move me up on top.
(I can’t move up)
Rank me up on top.
(Move me)
Move me up and save me from the ban.
(move me up)
Shoot me up to 1
(I can’t move up)
Before I come undone.
(Move me)
Save my site from the nothing it’s become.
Frozen in place with not one seek,
Without your crawl, darling.
Only you are the God among the bots.
Bring
me
to
1
(move me up)
Move me up on top.
(I can’t move up)
Rank me up on top.
(Move me)
Move me up and save me from the ban.
(move me up)
Shoot me up to 1
(I can’t move up)
Before I come undone.
(Move me)
Save my site from the nothing it’s become.
________________
Evanescense - Bring me to life (Final Fantasy anime version)
Original:
Whachya gon’ do with all those links?
All those links inside your inc.’s?
I’ma get, get, get, get, your logs,
Get your keywords in my blogs.
What you gon’ do with all those tags?
All those tags that get you flags?
I’m a make, make, make, make you spam
Make you spam, make you spam.
Cos of my blog (ha), my blog, my blog, my blog (what).
My blog, my blog, my blog (ha), my lovely sticker blogs (Check it out)
They say I’m really spammy,
The bots they wanna ban me.
They always searching next to me,
Always dancing down to me,
Tryin’ a search my blog blog.
Spider in my blog blog.
You can index but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it I’ma start some cloaking,
You don’t want no cloaking,
No, no cloaking, no, no, no, no cloaking
So don’t follow on my code boy,
You ain’t my SEO, boy,
I’m just tryn’a rank boy,
Mov’n up my blog, my blog, my blog, my blog, my blog,
My blog, my blog, my blog, my blog, my blog, my blog.
My lovely sticker blogs (blogs)
http://www.StickersExchange.com
Original:
Some enchanted evening
You may see poor ranking,
You may see poor ranking
Across the crowded web,
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That somehow Google dumped you
Again and again.
Some enchanted evening,
Google may be laughin’,
You may hear it laughin’
Across the crowded web,
As strange as it seems
The sound of its laughter
Will haunt in your dreams.
Who can explain it?
Who can tell you why?
Some give you reasons,
Wise SEO folks won’t try.
Some enchanted evening,
When you see your rank climb,
When you see your rank climb,
Across a crowded web,
Then shout to the hills,
And enjoy the glow
Because Google may dump you
Again and Again.
Once you have good rank,
Keep using SEO.
Once you have good rank,
Keep using SEO!
Parody by Stritof of PhoneVault.com
Original:
Verse one:
Hah, sicka than your average blogga
SEO player when it comes to the links
Link hators, my per click payers
Links for my hooligans in the top ten
Dead right, if they site right, bloggin every night
Blogs been smooth as seen on google news
Never lose rank, never choose to, delete crews who
Do hacks to us, spam go through us
Cuttlets link to us, wanna be us, can’t see us
Who us? yeah, Miller and Cutts (ehehehe)
Close like starsky and hutch, sick wit this stuff
Dare technorati not to search me
(take that, take that, take that, haha!)
Bang every IP easily, busily
Recently SEO haters aint sayin nuttin (nope)
So It’s keyword density, (cmon) link popularity
SEO friendly directory, D-M-O-Z
Deep linkin, askin who want it, you got it playa flaunt it
That algorithm bullshit, we on it
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Verse two:
I put clients in N-Y onto R-O-I (uh-huh)
Miami, D.C. prefer marketing (thats right)
All philly knows, algo’s and supplemental (cmon)
Every newbee wit a I-P bought a link from me (haaaaah!)
Now whos the real rookie, meanin whos gets the hits
Them P-P-C’s ride clicks, rank right…organic
My methods, make cash, how you ask
Bulletproof tactics gets me ranked fast
Google ranks me first but ranks you last
Thats why most of these so-called S-E-O’s wont pass
At last, a go getta rappin bout SEO bad asses
Tips from SEOmoz, managing blogs, indexed by the bot’s
I got skillz, make ya pay for it
You paid for, no pay per clicks
Know what Rand meant, and Danny Sullivan
Your clients tied up in google hell again (shhh)
Face it, high rankings, thats how I stay banking (high rankings)
Richer than richie, till google wont rank me
Chorus:
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Verse three:
I can get your site a million plus hits (million plus hits)
Article, or viral, check my history, link thieve
Check it out I’m number one
Google run run run, Google run run
I know you sick of this, name brand blogga wit
Flows skillz as sweet as licorice
So get with this SEO, its easy
Google I’m here again, rank me top ten
Come through, on the next update I know I’m in(thats right)
Come up to your job, hit you while you workin (uhh)
For certain, backlinkin, not cheatin
Leave that ass freakin, like jagger… a year ago
Changed SEO, you better relearn google … slowly
Hit em wit the force like obe, link bait like Hooley (obe… hooley)
Watch me roam on ebay, lucky they dont see me
Stronger rank than the army, homey.. (say what, homey)
Chorus:
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Newbee Newbee Newbee cant you see
Links and keywords just optimize me
And I just love these SEO ways
Guess thats why you low, and we high ranked (uh)
Original:
America Online gave me a way to broswe the web with ease
Suddenly this Internet world, made more sense to me
Well I heard the connection noise and I just had to hum along
Cause everytime I hear that song…
I go back to a 28.8 standard modem
Being impatient while my pages were loadin’
Browsing the Internet took so much damn time
And I go back to greetings from an old creepy guy
Welcome, You’ve Got Mail, and Goodbye
Telling everyone my age and sex in chats
Everytime I hear that song, I go back
I used to ask Jeeves all night long to help me with my papers
Abraham Lincoln, World War 2, and even one on vapors
I saw their new logo today and I couldn’t help but search around
Cause everytime I see what they found…
I go back to results ranked by popularity
Lookin’ to Jeeves for a little clarity
After I was done IMing with my friends
And I go back to wondering how the web was crawled
Surfing around until my Mom would call
Ordering me to go outside and play
Everytime I search around, I go back, I go back
We all remember the day the Internet entered our lives
Takes us to another place and time
So I go back to a day when I used Internet Explorer
Bookmarking funny sites, learning to play poker
And the joy of setting records on Mine Sweeper
And I go back to a day when Microsoft could contend
And Google was only at the tail end
Now “I’m Feeling Lucky” stops me in my tracks
Everytime I click that button
I go back….
To greetings from an old creepy guy
Welcome, You’ve Got Mail, and Goodbye
I go back….
To wondering how the web was crawled
Surfing around until my Mom would call…
I go back…
To a day when Microsoft could contend
And Google was only at the tail end
I go back… I go back… I go back
Lyrics by Taylor Pratt of LunaMetrics
