The 15 Greatest Google Autocomplete Fails

by Nicole October 18th, 2010 

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In the hectic world of today, Google can be your friend, your confidant and your silent ally. Are you lost, unsure or uncertain? Then you can turn to Google for reassurance. However, part of the magic of Google is that it wants to help you " so it predicts what you might be looking for, before you've even asked for it, based on what other people have looked for before. And, in the privacy of their own homes, other people have entered some REALLY interesting things into the world's favorite search engine. Here are 15 of the most bizarre autocomplete fails ever to have graced the face of Google.

15. Is It Wr

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If you have to ask, it's probably wrong. Sleeping with your mother, your dog, your cousin or your teacher " it's probably a bad idea. It's not wrong to be strong. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give him a computer and he'll make alarming internet searches. At least you know what's on his mind now.

14. I Am Extremely T

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Humanity at its most intimate " and at its worst? This one is derived from a Post Secret image which went viral " in which the author confesses through a postcard to being terrified of Chinese people. But don't worry " he's not a racist. We can't account for why someone is extremely terrified of black people, Mexicans, or Canadians though.

13. I Like To T

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Good for you sir, good for you " but we might be talking at cross purposes, depending on what you mean by 'badger' and 'mischievous'. Up there with the flying spaghetti monster for imaginative atheism, this one comes from John C. Reilly in the film Talladega Nights. Just behind 'I like to teach the world to sing' (sic).

12. Why Is There A

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I'd speculate poor housekeeping or a striking disregard for the care of your house guests. This one comes from Lost. While on the run Hurley turns up at his parent's house and his mom has the opportunity of putting the question to him. Lost. Baffling.

11. Can A Human

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No. However, whether monkey, dog or miscellaneous, you probably shouldn't try. It's nasty. We think we know why people searched for this.

10. Why Does My Da

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Because you're creepy, creepy, creepy. Is it wrong? You don't need to ask. However, by an extraordinarily unscientific process of deduction we've come to the conclusion that your daughter gets worms, pneumonia and nose bleeds and lies a lot just maybe because you hit her. It's like they're linked. But seriously, do you have to call her fat while you do it?

9. Cats Like

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Cats like Hitler more than us. Are you surprised? However, while this may be true, this is actually a combination of two of the internet's favorite things: kittens and Nazis. Specifically, in this case, cats that look like Hitler. And with a sweeping black forehead and a toothbrush mustache outline there are lots of cats that look like Hitler.

8. I Pooped

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If you were searching for i pooped you were in trouble already. However, if you liked it you may find that your trouble has only just begun. This is a world away from Katy Perry's antics. Unfortunately, a South Park episode aside, there's simply no explaining this one away.

7. Monkeys Are

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No, once again, they're definitely not. They're not even people in fact. So go and take your stinking paws offa me, you damn dirty ape (to only very slightly paraphrase Charlton Heston)!

6. Old People B

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Hmmm, old people? What's the first thing that comes to mind? I know! Burning. Oh, wait a second, that's definitely wrong actually. Maybe they're looking for this.

5. You Smell Like

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A baby prostitute? Well, we don't exactly know what that is and we surely don't know what it smells like. Step in Urban Dictionary: A young girl who's not old enough to be a slut, but she is one. Lovely. This one is derived from no less than Lindsay Lohan's magnum opus Mean Girls.

4. You J

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A work of perfection. If you understand this, you have, of course, lost. If not, then you are about to. The aim of The Game is not to think about The Game. If you think about The Game, then you lose. Having clicked four characters into Google, as illustrated above, you have lost. And so have you.

3. I Ate A

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Of all the things you could have eaten, Google chooses for you a big red candle, making the world smaller " and delivering wax to your mouth. This one comes from Anchorman (which preceded Talladega Nights). Steve Carell's character Brick Tamland announces that during a particularly crazy night, he Ate a big red candle. Solved.

2. Irish People Are

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Of course they are. This one comes from Matt Damon in the film The Departed: "What Freud said about the Irish is we're the only people impervious to psychoanalysis." Unsurprisingly, this is untrue " according to various sources the closest connection that can be made between Freud and the Irish is that Anthony Burgess wrote in the introduction to a book of Irish short stories: One of [Freud's] followers split up human psychology into two categories " Irish and non-Irish." We're sure the Irish are deeply affected by psychoanalysis.

1. When I Jump I

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That's a pretty definitive answer. Where does this one come from? Incontinence. This seems to be a surprisingly common problem.

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11 Responses to “The 15 Greatest Google Autocomplete Fails”

  1. Adam says:

    let's don't forget "los chinos" or "chinese people"

  2. John Soares says:

    This is very, very funny! Tweeted and will share on Facebook.

    It is so bizarre what Google comes up with for completing a search-term string. It's hard to believe that those were the most common phrases that came after the incomplete entry.
    .-= John Soares recently posted: Where Good Ideas Come From =-.

  3. Vladimir says:

    Great one, this will become a classic Nicole :)
    .-= Vladimir recently posted: Website Malware – The biggest threat we face on the Internet today =-.

  4. Keri Morgret says:

    I was just doing a search on "how effective" and was surprised to see that every single autocomplete suggestion related to effectiveness of preventing pregnancy. It's not a fail, but (to me at least) a surprise about how single-minded people are with that query.

  5. Greg says:

    I cannot believe some of these! So funny though. Can't wait to share this! Thanks so much for a good laugh :)

  6. Adrian Eden says:

    Try doing one for 'How to close' it offers up the suggestion "your Facebook account" lol I wonder why they would want you to close your Facebook account? ;)
    .-= Adrian Eden recently posted: Pictures from The Charles Bar tweetup in Gastown =-.

  7. Sasha says:

    Haha great post! I've always looked for that kind of stuff on my own, nice to know other people notice this silliness too!

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