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The Search Mafia

Donna Fontenot | November 9th, 2007
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mobstersDid you hear that they found what some are calling the Mafia's ten commandments when they arrested the head of the Sicilian mafia a few days ago? It includes such rules as "Never be seen with cops." and "Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families." It's interesting just as a story in and of itself, however, it got me thinking (which is usually not a good thing).

Our little industry reminds me of the mob. We tend to be divided into "families" or groups that play various roles. There is, of course, the FBI of search which would include Matt Cutts and gang. The various mob families run the gamut from being those that are the biggest offenders (and most wanted) to those that actually have sort of a symbiotic relationship with the FBI, to those that are nothing more than dirty, rotten informants.

These search families form as the made men and women find each other at various forums and conferences. As they become known to one another, they are evaluated and eventually allowed to join the inner circle if they meet various criteria. They are, of course, sworn to secrecy, and the secrets of search are passed from one to another. They are strongly discouraged to make the secrets known to either the general public or other search families, but inevitably, there are leaks. These leaks naturally find their way to the Search FBI, where action is swift and certain.

In some cases, family members are severely punished by the Search FBI, and in other cases, appropriate action is taken to prevent the same crime from ever being fruitful for any search family. In most cases, a search mobster would prefer harsh punishment, than to be known as the one who ruined it for everyone else.

Of course, every family has its boss and the boss has his capos (lieutenants). Then, there are always the ones jockeying for position and hoping to be chosen and "made". These upstarts are itching to be wise guys, and will offer up their services to the family members, hoping to get noticed. The boss must be careful about allowing any of these youngsters into his family, because the omerta (code of silence) is often broken by wrongly-chosen members.

Back in April, SEOrefugee printed its list of Search Commandments. These commandments would equate to what the FBI would like to enforce upon the mob. As we see from the above news story, however, the mob itself has its own list of commandments, and I would submit that the seo mob families do too. Just as an example, in recent weeks, we had the issue in which some seo families argued that one should never out another, while others argued that in the game of competition, outing was fair and reasonable. Each "family" had a different take on this "commandment" and I'm sure there are several other rules that each group holds.

I invite all of you to submit at least one "commandment" you believe all seo's should follow. Remember...these aren't the commandments that the search engines have laid down. These are the rules we have with one another. I won't stop you from naming bosses if you so choose, but I warn you that the various families may not take kindly to that kind of outing. 😉

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Posted in SEO

11 thoughts on “The Search Mafia”

  1. gabs says:
    November 9, 2007 at 9:36 am

    Thou shall sell as many links as one can (in the cover of darkness)

    Thou shall not protend to sell competitors / other families links in DP in full public view 😉

    hehehe 😀

    Long live Da-Family

  2. DazzlinDonna says:
    November 9, 2007 at 9:38 am

    LOL! Good ones, Gabs.

  3. mvandemar says:
    November 9, 2007 at 9:39 am

    Great post, except I don’t see Google as the FBI. They remind me more of the biggest casino in town. The one that handles so much loot every mob boss in town wants a cut, allowing them to think they have so much power that they are the FBI, and can set the rules any way they see fit.

    Everyone who gets caught gaming the tables gets tossed out on their asses, unless it also benefits the house, in which case a cheek is turned.

    Oh, and they have their own surveillance with cameras everywhere. 😀 (anyone else see “Ocean’s Thirteen”?)

    As to the rules, I have one:

    1) No seo mobster shall ask a mob boss for a Sphinn, Digg, or Stumble. This must only be done through a mutual friend, and it must be done with respect.

  4. DazzlinDonna says:
    November 9, 2007 at 9:43 am

    Heh, you may be right, Michael, about Google being more like the top casino who thinks they can make the rules, as if they are the FBI.

    Love the commandment too.

  5. earlpearl says:
    November 9, 2007 at 11:40 am

    Heheh: I feel like its time to go to the mattresses, stay out of site and cook pasta and sausage with plenty of vino.

    Stay under the radar, stay under the radar, stay under the radar!

  6. Vertical Measures says:
    November 9, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    Ya, I think the casino might be a better choice too. Either way, the post is a very good analogy.

    We’re all going underground… for a while anyway.

  7. Nick Wilsdon says:
    November 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    He had bald head, and his nickname was Lenin. “What suka means?”

    “Suka?” Has grumbled another prisoner. “Anyone, who refuses our rules and betrays his fellow prisoners.”

  8. Kim Krause Berg says:
    November 9, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    “Thou shall always hire a usability consultant…or else suffer the consequences.” (Evil witch laugh…and then the house lands on me and my ugly green feet shrivel up.) 🙂

  9. DazzlinDonna says:
    November 9, 2007 at 5:13 pm

    Nick, you lost me on that one.

    Kim, ROTFLMAO.

  10. Nick Wilsdon says:
    November 10, 2007 at 9:22 am

    Sorry Donna that was a rather obscure reference to the Suka Wars. They took place between the various Russian criminal factions in 1945. In WW2 Stalin offered them pardons in exchange for service in the military. After the war he turned back on that promise and returned them to jail. They were considered sukas for collaborating with the authorities, breaking a cardinal rule of the Russian criminal underground (Mafia).

    A war broke out between the groups, the sukas won and the old ethic of non-collaboration with the authorities was ended.

    Your writing about the fighting between the SEO families reminded me of that, with the authorities of course being Google. I wonder if history will repeat itself?

  11. Aussiewebmaster says:
    November 10, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Google is more the robber baron – hands in everything – and the rest of us are the ones using the shovels and pickaxes helping them get richer….

    it really feels like we are working for the man

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